Going From Friends to Lovers
While many people start out in the online dating world looking for a relationship or a casual fling, many people also use it as a tool to make some new friends and take things slowly. While this is a perfectly acceptable method for using online dating services and has been very successful for lots of people, there can be some hesitation and awkwardness surrounding the transfer from “friends” to lovers or partners. Here are 3 great strategies for bridging that gap from being great friends to starting a great relationship.
1. The Messenger Tactic
The friend approach goes back to elementary and junior high days when a guy or girl would send their friend over to see if so-and-so liked them. It’s likely that you both share common friends. You can opt to have one of those friends do some prodding on your behalf to get a general idea of where they see things going, etc. etc. This may be a bit childish for some, but can certainly provide a good work around for any timidity about broaching the subject you may have.
2. Dropping Hints Method
This strategy allows you to drop innocent “hints” or comments and gauge how the other person reacts. These hints can be verbal cues or physical ones and can provide a good barometer for what the other person is thinking/feeling. Verbally you can comment on how the communication you share is really valuable to you and something you would want from a potential partner, or tell them that they exhibit certain characteristics you find attractive or desirable. There are also hints you can do through actions, such as an extended goodbye hug, grabbing their arm or shoulder to direct them somewhere, pulling out chairs at dinner etc. to physically demonstrate interest in a subtle way.
3) The Direct Approach
This approach is simply asking the person how they feel about you and/or if they ever see things progressing beyond a friendship. The direct approach, while carrying the most potential for nervousness and potential discomfort, is the best way to get immediate satisfaction in knowing how the other person feels.
In my opinion, the best approach is probably the direct approach as it is sweet and to the point. However, if you feel very uncomfortable with it, you may want to give one of the other two approaches a try. Either way, you should be able to get a good sense of where things may be going.
Tags: connecting online, dating advice, friend zone, friends to lovers, Online Dating