Posts Tagged ‘Online Dating Resources’

Taking Advantage of your Header

Monday, September 29th, 2008

A good number of online dating services, such as LavaLife, Match.com, and Date.ca require that you provide a short header message (opening line) that appears under your member name when people do searches – similar to MySpace. Too often people don’t know what to put in that space and how to bets utilize it, thus ending up with generic headers like, “I may be the one for you” or “hello”.

It’s critical that you take advantage of your header message and develop one that commands attention - something clever, funny, or philosophical that will make a person want to click on your profile and read it.

While this will add a few minutes to your registration time, it will go a long way to enhancing your experience. Here are a couple of tips for what goes into creating a profile that people will want to click on and check out. It goes without saying that a photo is going to be an integral part of this process, as is your username, but these tips are directed solely at the header portion of your profile.

1) Don’t be cliché or boring

When you don’t know what to say for your header message, resist the temptation to resort to overused default headers like “Searching for Love” or “Looking to meet new people.”

You don’t want to appear ordinary. Each service has tens of thousands of users and they are all competing with you in a quest to find that “perfect” partner. As a result, you need to ensure that the header you use will attract the attention of others. Looking at these examples I found searching the Internet, which one would you be most likely to look twice at?

“Looking to Meet New People”
“Hello”
“Willing to Lie About How We Met!”
“You May be the One I’m Looking for”

One of these things is not like the other… The best one takes a humorous approach to the concept of telling others how you met. It’s unique and clever. Make sure your header is the diamond in the rough among boring, cliché header messages.

2) Do some research

One of the best ways to get creative and come up with that witty, winning profile header is to check out the ones that interest you. What is it about that particular header that makes you want to click on their profile and learn more? Identify patterns and see what is catching your eye, and then apply those to creating your own. Here are a few favorites I found around the Web:

“We make a perfect couple: I’ve got the brains and you’ve got the body!”
“Ok, I’m here. Now what’s your other two wishes?”
“Bright spark looking to ignite shared paths”
“Just like a new job, I offer excellent benefits.”

Taking just a few minutes to look around and see what other people are doing to catch YOUR eye, then thinking creatively about yourself for a minute can lead to much better results.
3) Screen your matches

One of the most common gripes among online daters is the sheer number of people who contact them that don’t meet their criteria. Older men/women, people with body types you aren’t looking for or daters from far, far away. If you want to improve the interest shown to you from qualified respondents, use your header as a screen for your profile. For instance:

“Looking for fit 24-30 year old male within 20 miles of Los Angeles”

By utilizing the header as a filter, when a person who doesn’t match your criteria reads your header they are likely to move past it. However, if a “fit 24-30 year old local male” reads it, then it should attract him because he meets your criteria. Once again, some real gems from browsing around online:

“I love a man in uniform. Military men, apply within.”
“Please be local, fit, over 40, and have a posted picture.”
“Must be at least 5′10″ to get on this ride”
“Romantic men seem to be extinct. If you’re extinct, contact me now.”

Of course, you could also just join one of the services that are designed with a much more defined target audience in mind and not have to worry as much about this particular tip.

4) Mix it up!

Much like changing your sheets, it’s always a good idea to keep your profile fresh and new by rotating your pictures and changing your header message once in awhile. Every so often (1-3 weeks) come up with a new and clever, creative, or filtered subject header. Different subject headers attract different people, therefore you may reach “new” people by keeping your header fresh and updated, breaking you out of an online dating rut.

Follow these easy tips and you can maximize your account and better leverage the dating pool online to best suit your needs.

The Truth About Online Dating

Wednesday, July 30th, 2008

When Jane Coloccia set out to find her soul mate online she had no idea that eight years and 200 dates later she would end up an expert on the topic, writing a book and setting up a course to teach the pitfalls of Web love.

Coloccia, now 45, was living in Manhattan and struggling to meet single, straight men when one of her friends met a man online and married him. She decided to give it a go.

Over the next few years, she was swamped with emails and instant messages from attentive men, some who told her she was beautiful, others who lied about their age, weight, hair, and marital status, and one who became her therapist.

Learning along the way how to spot the liars, Coloccia has written a book, “Confessions of an Online Dating Addict: A True Account of Dating and Relating in the Internet Age,” tracking the highs, lows — and addiction — of online dating. She is also developing an online course on Web dating.

Acknowledging the seductive nature of online personals, Coloccia believes that many single men and women are susceptible to the instant gratification of instant message or email compliments. Even typed-written sweet nothings purr through cyberspace.

Apparently, her assumption that web personal ads serves seduce a wide audience is correct. Recent figures observed by Jupiter Research indicate that internet matchmaking sites’ profits have risen by nearly doubled in the last three years. With expectations that revenues will grow by at least another 16% in the next four years, she has identified a market in need of guidance.

Sharing the scarier, more irritating and best dates of her personal match making experiences, she identifies the most likely dating pitfalls for would-be internet daters to avoid, including:

  • Quickly rushing into traditional dating patterns
  • Accepting outdated photos as proof of timely appearance
  • Settling for online partners who inaccurately portray themselves, their looks or their marital status
  • Being afraid to ask tough or potentially intrusive questions before meeting for a date
  • Failing to thoroughly read the potential dater’s profile
  • Ignoring the signs that the potential date is otherwise involved.

Coloccia explains that many singles looking for love in cyber space are tempted to show themselves young, firm, sexy and expertly coiffed. But old pictures belie a darker truth that things may not be what they seem. Single people who are comfortable with themselves inspire more comfortable dating situations for their significant others. Confident singles tell the truth, show themselves for who they are–weaknesses and attributes alike and answer honest questions without shame.

Furthermore, she warns that many potential partners hide behind their charming profiles, refusing to share photos, exchange numbers, or IM at times other than deepest, darkest night. Such behavior indicates that the romancer has something to hide from you or another significant other. Building on real life experience, she proves that proper internet matchmaking practices can lead to romantic success in real time and improper practices are a waste of time.

Online Dating Etiquette

Monday, June 30th, 2008

With the widespread popularity of Internet dating services has come an entirely new set of rules for Internet dating – Internet dating etiquette. Here are some Internet dating etiquette guidelines to follow to make sure that your Internet dating is effective, non-offensive, and safe.

  • Start small and show you read the profile – Rather than using the personals service email system to send the story of your life to your potential date, write a short paragraph simply introducing yourself. Include a line or two that directly addresses something that you read in the recipient’s dating profile. This will show the recipient that you aren’t just taking a shot in the dark!
  • Make sure the interest is mutual – Ask the person directly to review your Internet dating profile and reply if they’re interested.
  • Choose a mode of conversation that you’re both comfortable with – Some Internet dating service users will want to keep things virtual for awhile, while others will be ready to give you their phone number right away.
  • Don’t assume familiarity when you meet in person – Meeting someone from a single dating service in person for the first time is like starting over – you realize that you don’t know nearly as much about the person as you thought and it can be quite shocking!
  • Take things slow – The secret to turning an internet dating site attraction into a lasting relationship is to go at a realistic pace. Internet dating sites tend to create quick connections that crash and burn. To make things last, slow them down!

By following these Internet dating etiquette tips, you’ll be sure to impress your potential Internet dating service dates and make a great first impression!